


A Vampire Slayer in Middle Earth

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Action, War of the Ring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2009-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-24 17:43:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3777704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LOTR/BTVS Cross-over. Sofia the Vampire Slayer battles a fell beast in Cleveland only to fall through the portal the beast arrived in. She lands in Middle-Earth and is be found by suspecting Rangers who are gaurding Arwen during her travel to Lothlorien. Even after 5 years of exposure to the supernatural world, she has a hard time taking in the fact that she's in an alternate dimension, there are easy on the eyes elves, nasty smelling orcs, and magical beings more powerful than Willow. While she trades vampires for orcs, some Scooby Gang members try to figure out how to get her back...And not accidentally bring back anything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reflecting on the Past

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

My professor’s words were haunting my mind. How high blood pressure leads to arteries and stuff tightening, leaving the body prone to heart attacks or other badness. Of course, as I tried to calm my nerves with this reminder I could feel myself becoming angrier. Fuck. What was it Giles said? That a true warrior can calm their head as well as they can fight in battle? Hmmmph. Obviously Giles never had to deal with rush hour in Cleveland. Besides, shouldn’t a slayer’s body protect itself from high blood pressure and crazy capillaries?  
  
Ok. Breathe. Good. That was a nice deep breath. Not bad for someone stuck on the highway when all they want to do is run home and be surrounded by family. Hmmm… Actually, I probably could run home faster than it would take to navigate this sea of cars. Ever since my powers awakened I’ve been able to run pretty damn fast. I pondered on this for a second, but I realized I should probably arrive in a normal fashion. I’ve been trying to keep my wackiness on the DL for a while now to the fam and shouldn’t blow it now, of all times.  
  
This would be the first time I’ve seen my family in over a year, just in time for mom’s birthday. It’s amazing- All my life I wanted to leave the madhouse known as my home and travel the world. Now that my life consists of living five time zones away in England and traveling to battle the forces of darkness worldwide, I often wish I could be able to come home more frequently.  
  
With nothing to stare at but the brightly colored metallic husks on the road, I reflected on my life. Five years ago my life changed drastically on a rather normal May afternoon. I was 17 and eagerly anticipating graduation. My friends, Serena, Isabella, and I were just ending our evening at the touristically typical, but nonetheless beloved Hard Rock Café. With graduation looming before us, it seemed like the perfect place to dine and talk about how awesome our lives would be if we were rock stars or married Romeo from our beloved bachata group Aventura.  
  
Of course it’s just our luck that reality set in when my Ford Tempo refused to start. I went back to open the trunk to retrieve some jumper cables where the strangest sensation came over me. I’ll never forget that feeling but it’s almost impossible to describe. Warmth spread over me, like diving into a heated pool. The world seemed sharper somehow, like I was seeing it for the first time.  
  
The sensations shocked me until Isabella screamed at me “Oye, I popped the trunk! Apurate por favor porque my mama’s gonna be pissed if I don’t get home on time”. Shaking myself slightly I pulled at the trunk, but it didn’t budge. I relayed the information to Isabella and she informed me that when her trunk does that all she needs to do is hit it a couple times to come loose.  
  
So I did. I hit it once, like a normal person hits a car in frustration. Unlike a normal person, I put a 5-inch dent in it so smoothly that my beautiful baby had my knuckle indentations. I screamed and looked down, expecting to see my hand a broken bloody mess.  
  
But it wasn’t. It sure as hell felt sore and bruises were beginning to travel across my hand, but I failed to see broken bones or blood. With my scream of course both the girls came running over from previously talking on their cell phones about ten feet away. Their eyes darted frantically as they asked me what was wrong. Then Isabella shouted about how some pendejo dented my pinche trunk. I was so damn shocked and disturbed that I just nodded and dealt with her conclusion.  
  
A couple weeks passed and I began to notice the changes. Sure, I played varsity softball but I was never the greatest when it came to strength or agility. Events occurred and I realized I had changed. In Phys Ed during a volleyball game I spiked a ball only to accidentally break the teacher’s nose. During a softball game I was playing right field and jumped abnormally high (enough so to make the crowd go ‘Whoa!’) to catch a ball. While I loved salsa, I was never good with the feet coordination and twirling part, but at prom I was the Queen Bee of the dance floor.  
  
Needless to say part of me was fucking freaking out. The other part of me was feeling like a badass and yearned to buy a leather jacket and a motorcycle.  
  
Soon arrived the big revelation of my life. There I was walking back from the park with this skinny redhead came out of nowhere and asked me if I had been going through changes. Thinking she was one of those damn religious freaks I told her I heard the puberty talk in 5th grade and thank you very much, but please peace the fuck out. The nice thing with these newfound abilities had me ready to shit talk anyone, knowing I could probably kick their ass. She said my name and I turned around ready to do Xena move because there was no way she should know my name, unless she was a creeper.  
  
But when I turned around to look at her face her eyes captured me. It was like riding a roller coaster for the first time. I slid down the summit and had no idea where I was or when the ride was going to stop. A millennia seemed to pass as I fell deeply into her eyes that seemed to hold the world. Flickers of celestial bodies, endless oceans, and brown earth passed by as I stared deeper. ‘Sofia, know that I come her in peace. My name is Willow and I understand that you have developed new powers. Your mind doesn’t understand this new power and that is why I am here. Sofia, you are a vampire slayer.’  
  
You know how in movies something shocking happens that makes the characters go ‘Whoooooa’ and a record scratches to a stop? At that moment I could have sworn I heard that.  
  
Willow and I sat at a park bench for a couple hours talking. I didn’t want to believe her because her because her story sounded so fucking insane. Her best friend Buffy, who sounded more like a Hugh Hefner girlfriend than a terror to denizens of the night, was a vampire slayer. Essentially Willow was a witch who performed a spell to put the essence of the slayer into any young girl that could be a vampire slayer and –lucky me- I was one of them along with hundreds of others. Oh, and just what was a vampire slayer? Willow explained that it is a girl who battles vampires, demons, and anything else evil enough to harm humankind.  
  
It’s probably unwarranted to say that everything she said freaked me out to the extreme. With her freakily magical eyes and uncanny ability to speak in my mind, I knew she spoke truthfully. To be honest, there was just something so wholesome and good about her that made her appear s angelic there was no way I could fault her words. Not to mention, I was sure it wasn’t my Wheaties that were making me stronger and faster.  
  
A loud honking yanked me out of my reverie as I realized it was now my fault cars were backed up. I pressed the gas pedal and rode off home


	2. Beats paying $10.50 for a movie ticket.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOTR/BTVS Cross-over. Sofia the Vampire Slayer battles a fell beast in Cleveland only to fall through the portal the beast arrived in. She lands in Middle-Earth and is be found by suspecting Rangers who are gaurding Arwen during her travel to Lothlorien. Even after 5 years of exposure to the supernatural world, she has a hard time taking in the fact that she's in an alternate dimension, there are easy on the eyes elves, nasty smelling orcs, and magical beings more powerful than Willow. While she trades vampires for orcs, some Scooby Gang members try to figure out how to get her back...And not accidentally bring back anything else.

There is nothing like being amongst familia. I sat on my dad’s worn leather recliner observing my jubilant family members. The party for my mama was in full swing. Every single freaking one of our family members were here singing, drinking, and dancing throughout our backyard. My mom and dad were competing against my tias and tios for salsa champions of the world. Ramon, my 16-year old brother, and David, my 20-year old brother, were kicking a soccer ball with some of our cousins. My grandma was exuberantly singing along to the old Marc Antony song, proving that once again that woman can pound more drinks than your typical frat boy. Of course, it probably didn’t help that the rest of my aunts and uncles were cheering her on. All in all it felt *good* to be basking in the atmosphere of love and family.  
  
Or so I thought. “Ouch,” I exclaimed. I rubbed my head gingerly where that damn soccer ball hit it, effectively ceasing my feelings of love towards at least one family member. Turning towards my brother I saw him bending over laughing with the rest of the players. “Seriously Ramon! Watch where you kick the pinche ball!”  
  
Not even missing a beat on the dance floor, my mama shouted at me. “Carino! Watch your mouth around your little cousins!”  
  
I rolled my eyes at her. “Mom! My little cousins are all at least 15 years-old! I think they’ve head pin-“  
  
My tigress of a mother wasn’t relenting so easily and quickly interrupted me. “Hey! It’s my birthday so you must do as I say. So now I say to come here and dance with me!” Her mouth was set in a serious line to match her demanding tone, but her eyes twinkled mischievously. I relented and we fell into a fevered pace to Elvis Crespo’s ‘Suavamente’. Luckily for me, my slayer abilities made me an amazing dancer. Prior to the change, I doubt that I would have been able to go head to head with my mama.  
  
  
*******************************  
  
The night passed quickly. By 1am most of my family rested their drink-riddled bodies into coveted lawn chairs or bare spots in the grass that were not saturated with spilled drink. One thing is for sure, our family sure as hell knows how to celebrate occasions.  
  
“Sooo, Sofia you’ve been quiet all night! Don’t tell us you miss your fancy London school already!” I peer sleepily at my Tia Alicia who somehow made it almost the whole night without prying. Her dark curls shone in the moonlight and her eyes eagerly searched my face, just waiting for a facial expression to break-down and translate to my other aunts.  
  
“No, of course not Tia Alicia! You know there is no better place than being amongst familia.” My tone was sincere and I hope she heard that in my statement.  
  
I am the first and only person from the family to leave our enclosure on the West side of Cleveland and it pained my family deeply. Sometimes it breaks my heart because I do not want them to feel like unimportant figures in my life and that I left only because I had to. Once I learned my true identity from Willow she bade me to travel to England with her to receive training with the others . After a long process between me, her, and Giles I rearranged my plans to attend Cleveland State University to instead attend Oxford, where somehow Giles took care of my tuition and late enrollment. I left within a month to begin slayer training and my studies began that fall. Since then, I have bagged my share of baddies in England and beyond. Unfortunately, my family did not know any of this and often came to the conclusion I chose to travel out of want rather than need and that visiting them is not a high priority.  
  
“Good mija, I am glad to hear of it! Now be a good niece and get me some more rum, ay?” Winking at me, she quickly finished the rest of her rum and coke. I chuckled at her comment. It seems that no matter how long I’ve been gone, some things never change.  
  
*********************************************************  
(The next evening)  
  
Rellenos de papas. Emapnadas. Arroz. MMM… My mother had made the most exquisite meal for our family. Seated at the dining room table were my parents, Ramon, David, and I. Mama loved to baby her dearest children and in honor of my visit she made all my favorite dishes. Every delectable bite was cherished because there is nothing like my mother’s cooking, especially in England. Like most other tight-knit families, conversation flowed freely. But during desert ‘Toma’ by Pitbull creeped into the air.  
  
“Oye Loca! Ven pa’ca! Si tu quiere’ que te coma toda,  
Si tu quiere’ que te coma toda…”  
  
My mama looked at me sharply. “Sofia Isabella Ramirez! You know better than to leave your cell phone turned on during dinner!” I cringed internally. Mama had always stressed the importance of family meals and hated phone calls during dinner. Unbeknownst to her, that ringer indicated a Scooby was calling me and I needed to answer.  
  
“Lo siento mama, papa! This is an extremely important call and I must answer it. Perdoname, por favor”. I eyed her apologetically and quickly rushed into the other room.  
  
David called after me. “Sofia, you got a boy or something? If you miss the call, its not the end of the world!” My whole family was in an uproar about his joke, likely remembering my high school years when I was boy-crazy to the extreme. What they did not understand was in this case, the phone call could indeed indicate the end of the world.  
  
I picked up my cell and winced when I saw the caller ID. Willow. It must be important for her to call me. Dammit. I have been home only two full days and already they are calling me. When the hell are the forces of darkness going to take a break??? Sometimes I wish the world did not have cell phones so I could avoid being in touch like this. Except, I guess Willow would pull some voodoo on me and start sending messages telepathically. That thought made me groan out loud as I answered the call  
  
“Hey Willow…What’s the word?”  
  
The voice on the other end was strained. “Sofia thank God I got to you. Andrew has been going through some of Giles’ books-“  
  
I laughed wickedly. “Better make sure he’s not looking at the ones displaying naked drawings of vampires or demons!” Andrew was a pretty socially inept dude and easy to make fun of. However, he also out a lot of effort into the cause and has kind of came into his own as a Watcher after training with Giles.  
  
“You know, Xander only caught him doing that one time and it was a while ago.” Even though she was thousands of miles away, I could have sworn her eyes were rolling as she laughed. “Anyways, big news. Looks like that the mystical forces surrounding the Cleveland Hellmouth are opening up some dimensional portal tonight. Should be tonight anyways… Or in the year 2066. We’re not quite sure…”  
  
I sighed heavily. It was extremely frustrating to deal with prophecies and magic. More than once I had wasted my time waiting for portals or rituals that never arrived. “Hey now Ms. Slayer, I’d like to see you hit the books once in a while”, she retorted with a bite to her words.  
  
“Ok, ok, I’m sorry! You know I’m a bit to much like Buffy. Boo reading, yay killing.”  
  
Willow used her ‘frustrated’ voice. “Hmmmph. Now, if you don’t mind…”  
  
“Please, go ahead.”  
  
“There’s a portal opening up tonight. Potential big bad. I need you to meet up with the Cleveland slayer contact to help out.” She gave me the directions and wished me luck. Meanwhile, I contemplated a good excuse to give my family and prepared for another typical night slayer Saturday night of blood and gore.  
  
I suppose it beats paying $10.50 for a movie ticket.


	3. Definitely NOT Puff the Magic Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOTR/BTVS Cross-over. Sofia the Vampire Slayer battles a fell beast in Cleveland only to fall through the portal the beast arrived in. She lands in Middle-Earth and is be found by suspecting Rangers who are gaurding Arwen during her travel to Lothlorien. Even after 5 years of exposure to the supernatural world, she has a hard time taking in the fact that she's in an alternate dimension, there are easy on the eyes elves, nasty smelling orcs, and magical beings more powerful than Willow. While she trades vampires for orcs, some Scooby Gang members try to figure out how to get her back...And not accidentally bring back anything else.

It was a humid summer night and I was wearing a pair of worn jeans and a black tank top that, as usual, was accompanied by my trusty gold cross necklace. Regardless of the temperature or my jeans, I shivered. Twenty feet in front of me a portal started opening. Tendrils of mist curled around it as I waited for whatever spawn the Hellmouth was going to throw at us. Glancing to my left I saw Vi wearing probably the same “Oh F.U.C.K. expression that I bet I was. She was similarly clad, with the exception of a beret, and we both were wielding weapons. Our pleasure chest of weapons was in the car, but we were both prepared with stakes and swords. I had my fam waiting on me and she had her boyfriend, so we were both ready for this to be dirty and quick.  
  
As luck would have it, the light show seemed to be never-ending. I muttered, “yeah, yeah, yeah. You got lights and mist, you bloody portal. Why don’t you open up the package so we can get this done with?” I mentally chastised myself for using the word bloody. I picked it up years ago, along with tons of other British slang, and cannot seem to shake it loose.  
  
Eying the portal wearily, Vi commented dryly, “Please do not taunt the portal Sofia.”  
  
I winked at her. “Of course,” I whispered in a saccharine voice. Vi was one of my favorite co-Slayers. Our first encounter occurred at a sparring match during training. It was the first week I was there and Buffy began introducing us to a new fighting style and I felt completely overwhelmed. I hate admitting a weakness, but I spent the night after that training sobbing in the garden. England was rainy, being a Slayer scared the hell out of me, and I missed my family more than I ever imagined. Sweet Vi found me and consoled me. One of the Potentials who had fought against the Turok-Hans in the Sunnydale Battle, the strength of her fighting skills was as great as her kindness. She took me under her wing and we practiced every morning together throughout the summer. With her help I quickly became one of the most skilled slayers.  
  
  
Scanning our surroundings, I laughed inwardly. I really could not believe Willow when she told us the coordinates. Here we were, on the 50 yard line at the Cleveland Browns stadium, waiting for that damn portal. Really makes me wonder if my home team really is cursed. Luckily, it’s the off-season and a Saturday, so the place is clear of people.  
  
Just then my ears popped and an invisible force flew Vi and I back to the 30 yard line. An enormous black neck erupted from the portal, following by an elongated body with two great wings, and a swishing black tail. Altogether our new friend was about forty feet in length and ten feet high . ‘FuckFuckFuckFuck’, I thought. “It’s a fucking dragon. A dragon. Willow sent us here for a fucking dragon”, I gritted through my teeth. Evil seemed to come off this thing in waves. I had no doubt he’d be looking to sample the local cuisine ASAP.  
  
“Oooookay. Well, maybe he’s Puff. As in the Magic Dragon?” Vi balked off my look and smiled devilishly. “Hey, we can do this. Two against one, right?”  
  
I snorted quietly. You can always count on Vi do stay positive. “Those are my kind of odds, darlin’.”  
  
Meanwhile the dragon swung its head around as in a daze and so far seemed to not spot us yet. I whispered to her. “One- We are not letting this dude go Godzilla on the ‘Land. Two- That means we take him out hard and fast. Go straight for the head and wings. On three. One. Two. Three.”  
  
With that we were off. Adrenaline coursed through our veins and pushed us to run silently and rapidly. Lady Luck must have been pissed off at us though, because we were *not* in her favor tonight. A swift breeze blew past us and passed our scent right under the beast’s nostrils. His head jerked towards us and Vi rolled underneath its torso. Up close, I realized he wasn’t like any dragon I had seen pictures of. The creature was absolutely grotesque and I leaped out of the way right when it snapped its mouth at me. Ugh. Its mouth was lined with layers of sharp teeth that looked-and smelled- like it was used for tearing whole creatures for consumption. Jerk dragon probably ate cute fluffy bunnies with those teeth. Hmmm… I think I would like to make a necklace out of those.  
  
I promptly jabbed my sword into the area between the side of the mouth and its eye at the same time Vi sliced halfway through its front leg. The roar was shriek-like and deafening. If I wasn’t used to living in a dorm full of slayers who loved to blast various genres of music, its possible my ears would have melted. Luckily, they were used to it. The dragon creature started to flutter its wings so I jumped up, dug my sword into its side and used that leverage to fling myself towards its wing, which I promptly cut off.  
  
“Yes!” I shouted in victory. Peering over I saw Vi and the beast engaging in a deadly dance. Every time it attempted to strike she pirouetted out of the way. There’s a reason why she got placed in Cleveland. That girl has skills. Looking behind me, I realized the portal was still open. Biting my lip, I realized we needed to finish this in case more came. Using similar tactics I got onto the creatures back. My nose wrinkled in distaste as the smell of death and decay hit me. Hearing another roar of anguish I saw Vi had plunged her sword into the dragon’s eye as its head reared back. Damn. Great shot, but now the girl was weaponless. Time to make my mark.  
  
“Get out of here!” I shouted to her. I thrust the length of my sword into its back. Blinded and crazed with pain, the dragon began stumbling in a circle.  
  
“SOFIA! Get off there now!” Knowing that we had yet to deal the death blow, I refused to get off. It was time to finish this beast.  
  
It was too late when I realized that the mist had surrounded me, caressing my body. Looking down at Vi terror was evident in her eyes. Pivoting behind, I saw that the dragon had reentered the portal. I went to jump off, but it was too late. The portal had already swept me up.  
  
The question now was, where the hell was I going?


	4. Fifteen Guys, A Girl, and a Middle Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOTR/BTVS Cross-over. Sofia the Vampire Slayer battles a fell beast in Cleveland only to fall through the portal the beast arrived in. She lands in Middle-Earth and is be found by suspecting Rangers who are gaurding Arwen during her travel to Lothlorien. Even after 5 years of exposure to the supernatural world, she has a hard time taking in the fact that she's in an alternate dimension, there are easy on the eyes elves, nasty smelling orcs, and magical beings more powerful than Willow. While she trades vampires for orcs, some Scooby Gang members try to figure out how to get her back...And not accidentally bring back anything else.

I may work hard, but I can party harder. Don’t even ask me to name off the amount of nights I have spent dancing with my man of choice- Jose Cuervo. Those great nights always led to hellish mornings.  
  
Like right now. I felt like Jose and I got a ‘lil too crazy last night. More so, it felt like we partied with his buds Jim Bean and Jack Daniels in some crazy orgy of alcoholism. My head was pounding and I couldn’t see straight. My body felt sore all over, like I really did participate in some headboard hitting party.  
  
Wait... My memory was recalling something… A dragon. And a portal. Oh, Fuck.  
  
I jumped up quickly and paid dearly for that action. The Keebler Elves had set up shop in my cranium. And they were river dancing as well. My bleary eyes scanned my body for my weapons. I still two stakes lining each side of my belt, my crossbow on my back, and my six-inch knife sheathed in my boots. My sword lay twenty feet… right next to that still-breathing jerk of a dragon. I shuffled towards it, since my body was not going to let me run just yet. While picking it up I moved quickly; I felt eyes watching me. I scanned my surroundings. I seemed to be in a clearing in the middle of tall oak trees. The area seemed very alive and I couldn’t tell if it was just the beauty of nature or something else that lurked past the trees.  
  
Bellowing, the dragon started to get up. “Oh no you don’t,” I admonished. “You pinche idioto pendejo! You think you can just take me through your portal. Well best believe I am going to kill the hell out of you. Fuckin’ shish kabob, yo.” With that I leaped above its neck and brought my sword down hard. I sliced its neck all the way through and the top of it flopped like a fish on dry land.  
  
Absolutely disgusted with the black blood that sprayed on to my face and body, I began rubbing it off on the tall green grass. “Sorry grass,” I muttered. “I know this stuff is real rank, but you’re my only option.” I closed my eyes for a moment to take this all in. Dragon dead equals yay. Stuck in another dimension potentially full of more dragons equals badness. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” I whispered. “What a horrible night.”  
  
I opened my eyes only to see fifteen men holding bows and arrows encircling me and pointing right at my head. I mentally rebuked myself for complaining. The first two realizations were enough. Adding these dudes to the list makes for a *really* horrible night.  
  
I looked up at one of the men who said something to me. Problem was, I had no idea what he said. His voice had a lilting, musical quality but I recognized none of it. I responded, “I do not understand you.” He said something else but I just shrugged my shoulders. I put down my sword to appease them but kept aware of my other trinkets. Not that I could likely take out fifteen dudes at once, but I would die trying.  
  
My eyes narrowed as I studied the one who had spoken to me. He had lengthy locks that reached past his shoulders and were braided in places. His erect stance displayed how tall he was and his lean, muscular form was displayed through a tunic and trousers out of some strange material. I didn’t realize it at first, but as I observed his face I saw his ears were pointed!  
  
I breathed heavily. Damn. Fifteen men in an alternate dimension- maybe. Fifteen supernatural creatures in an alternate dimension- I’m fucked.  
  
I raised my arms slowly. The leader looked me over and after glancing at his peers in confusion, he finally took my stakes out of my belt. He motioned for me to follow him and I did as we began a long trek through the woods. Looking back, I noticed several stayed behind to set fire to the beast I had slain.  
  
‘Hah’, I thought to myself. ‘I told that fool he was gonna be nothing more than shish kakbob!’  
  
  
Chapter 4: Fifteen Guys, a Girl, and a Middle Earth  
  
My friends often joke that I live up to the phrase ‘Word hard. Party Harder’. Don’t even ask me to name off the amount of nights I have spent dancing with my man of choice- Jose Cuervo. Always those great nights always led to hellish mornings.  
  
Like right now. I felt like Jose and I got a ‘lil too crazy last night. More so, it felt like we partied with his buds Jim Bean and Jack Daniels in some crazy orgy of alcoholism. My head was pounding and I couldn’t see straight. My body felt sore all over, like I really did participate in some headboard hitting party.  
  
Wait... My memory was recalling something…  
  
A dragon.  
  
And a portal.  
  
Oh, Fuck.  
  
I jumped up quickly and paid dearly for that action. It felt like the Keebler Elves had set up shop in my cranium. And they were river dancing as well. My bleary eyes scanned my body for my weapons. I still had two stakes lining each side of my belt, my crossbow on my back, and my six-inch knife sheathed in my boots. My sword lay twenty feet away… right next to that still-breathing jerk of a dragon. Gingerly picking myself up I shuffled towards it, since my body was not going to let me run just yet. While picking it up I felt eyes watching me. I scanned my surroundings. I seemed to be in a clearing in the middle of tall oak trees. The area seemed very alive and I couldn’t tell if it was just the beauty of nature or something else that lurked past the trees.  
  
Bellowing, the dragon started to get up. “Oh no, you don’t,” I admonished. “You pinche idioto pendejo! You think you can just take me through your portal. Well best believe I am going to kill the hell out of you. Fuckin’ shish kabob, yo.” Wasting no more time I leaped above its neck and brought my sword down hard. The gleaming silver steel sliced its neck all the way through and then its head flopped like a fish on dry land.  
  
I lowered myself to the ground, conscious of my many bruises. Disgusting black blood covered portions of my face and body. Using the tall green grass, I began wiping it off. “Sorry grass,” I muttered. “I know this stuff is real rank, but you’re my only option.” I closed my eyes for a moment to take this all in. Dragon dead equals yay. Stuck in another dimension potentially full of more dragons equals badness. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” I whispered. “What a horrible night.”  
  
I opened my eyes only to see fifteen men holding bows and arrows encircling me and pointing right at my head. I mentally rebuked myself for complaining. The first two realizations were enough. Adding these dudes to the list makes for a *really* horrible night.  
  
I looked up at one of the men who said something to me. Tall and lean, he had dark hair that reached past his shoulders. Peering up, I noticed his pale face was absolutely flawless and he looked to be in his 20s. Yet, two grey eyes showed a depth of age that did not register with his youthful face. A voice that had a lilting, musical quality came out of his generous lips, but the words were unrecognizable. I responded, “I do not understand you.” He said something else but I just shrugged my shoulders. He looked at the man next to him, who I assumed to be his twin since they looked exactly alike, with a ‘what do we do now?’ look.  
  
It was very strange that I could not figure out what sort of language he was speaking. At Oxford I had two majors: Archaeology and Ancient History and the second was Latin. My experiences at school and traveling had taught me many languages but I failed to determine the source of his words. To appease them I put down the sword that I had been holding, but kept aware of my other trinkets at my waist boots. Not that I could likely take out fifteen dudes at once, but at least I would not be weaponless.  
  
My eyes narrowed as I studied the one who had spoken to me. He had lengthy locks that reached past his shoulders and were braided in places. Resembling someone from a Renaissance Fair, he wore a cloak that hung over a tunic and trousers. I did not realize it at first, but as I observed his face again I saw that his ears were pointed!  
  
My heart rate picked up slightly and I breathed in deeply. Damn. Fifteen men in an alternate dimension- maybe. Fifteen supernatural creatures in an alternate dimension- I’m fucked.  
  
I raised my arms slowly. The leader looked me over and after glancing at his peers in confusion, he finally took my stakes out of my belt. He motioned for me to follow him and I did as we began to trek through the woods. Looking back, I noticed four stayed behind to set fire to the beast I had slain. Black smoke rose from the carcass and I took great solace in the fact that the breeze was blowing in the opposite direction.  
  
Deciding to use my time wisely, I continued to observe my captors. First I scanned the remaining eleven’s ears and found only the twins had pointed ears. The rest appeared to be merely men who seemed to be living a rough outdoorsy life. Beards covered their faces, their skin was sun-darkened, and all had shoulder-length hair that was in dire need of a washing. Actually, they should probably wash more than just their hair; the closest ones to me smelled of sweat and dirt. All eyes were on me and throughout the walk several would whisper to one another. While the twins seemed calm, fear emanated from the men and I could not understand why. I had my theories, of course. One, they saw that I killed a dragon, which is not an extra-curricular most young ladies are accomplished in, they are evil like the dragon and are afraid I will do the same to them. Second, they were on the side of good and feared I was in league with the dragon. Or third, my battle with the dragon had my hair looking as ghastly as it felt.  
  
Pondering what they were going to do with me, I tried to feel out the environment. In one of our seminars entitled ‘Demons: Evil or Just Misunderstood’ Buffy explained that not all demons are evil. Some are neutral or good and just want a normal life like us. To demonstrate she brought in Clem, a gross looking demon who had thick skin that wrinkled heavily and folded upon itself in layers. Each of us came down near him and Buffy explained that Slayer senses are heightened and often we can rely on our natural instincts to feel out the auras of others. None of us felt malevolence from Clem and we came to understand that the underworld is not always black or white.  
  
Closing my eyes, I sent my consciousness forward. It was a difficult process because I could feel that my captors were anxious and some were ready to get rid of me. Once again, I did not know if that meant they fought on the side of evil or thought that they thought I was evil. However, from the twins it was quite hard to tell; almost as if they were closed off to me.  
  
Internally I began debating on if I should escape now or later. If I leave now, the eleven of them could outrun me or shoot me with a bow and arrow. Normally I could probably take on seven vampires by myself, but I still had no idea where I was or what abilities these people possessed. Although, they could be taking me to a place that will be even more difficult to escape and I may have wasted a valid opportunity. Buffy’s voice from that first summer was playing over in my head. “The first rule of slaying: Don’t Die”. I sure as hell was planning on abiding by that rule and go with the flow, for now.  
  
Soon I noticed another clearing existed amidst the trees and an encampment was set up there. Small tan tents were set up around a larger blue tent in the center. A fire blazed near the front of the opening but lay far enough away from the trees. Two men hovered over it roasting a deer. Opposite of the fire four men sat in a circle laughing and looked like they were telling stories. All resembled my captors and had swords sheathed on their back or waist. As soon as they noticed us the four men stood and walked towards us. The one at the head of the party, who I assumed was the leader, was an imposing figure with his height, at least six and a half feet, and his shaggy, dark hair.  
  
One of the twins, I had no idea how to tell them apart, began to converse with the leader and gestured to me. Eying me up and down, the leader appraised me with grey- speckled eyes. As the twin did, he attempted to converse with me in different languages but I understood nothing. Many of the men began discussing amongst themselves and I wish I could have understood them. Actually, what I wished for is a hot shower. While some of the black, oily blood had been wiped off much of it was on my clothes and I could feel patches on my skin. God. I felt so gross.  
  
Subtly, I noticed a change in the atmosphere. I was still in tune to auras in the surrounding and I felt a warming presence. For a second, I thought I was back home with my family- It was that type of feeling. Glancing up, a raven-haired woman with pointed ears emerged from the large tent and she had skin so light it seemed to glow. Her statuesque figure was clothed in a blue floor-length dress that had detailed embroidery. I dropped to my knees and lowered my head; she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in the world and seemed to radiate love. A gentle hand lifted my chin up and I drowned into her ocean blue eyes. Those eyes seemed to pierce my soul and I had no idea how much time passed until she motioned me to get up. The others were all watching us and she spoke to them in that light, musical language again. One of them brought a basket to her and she gently clasped my hand and began to lead me.  
  
No longer did I question what side these people fought on. This woman seemed to embody goodness and I knew we worked on the same side of the coin. Serenity washed over me and I no longer had my guard up. Eventually we approached a stream and she displayed the basket to me. Inside was an emerald green dress and what appeared to be a bar of soap. Smiling at me she pointed to herself and said “Arwen”. I responded with my own name. I really hope that this language barrier could be crossed because this Tarzan/Jane gig was going to get old, fast.  
  
I looked at my reflection in the clear stream. Two words came to my mind: hot mess. My long curly black locks which ran past my shoulders were sticking every where in tangled weaves. A shallow cut lay next to one of my coffee-colored eyes. With a tear down the side of my tank top, it was amazing to see the thing was just barely hanging together. Thankfully, my favorite fighting jeans only bore the injury of one small hole at the knee. However, my arms carried heavy bruising; most likely from jumping/falling off the dragon. Yeesh. No wonder I freaked those guys out.  
  
  
Arwen undressed and moved into the stream with her back away from me. Understanding she was giving me an opportunity to wash, I quickly disrobed and began to bath in the cooling waters as she hummed a lovely tune. Once I was done I donned the green dress and Arwen led me back to camp. Dinner was done upon our arrival and my captors gave me some berries and venison. It wasn’t rellenos de papa, but it wasn’t bad.  
  
Throughout dinner I saw that the men continued to study me. One in particular eyed me suspiciously. With his fair locks and shorter stature, he did not resemble the others. I wondered if he was another visitor, like me. Either way, I did not enjoy his stares. Distrust was evident in his eyes. Fortunately, the rest of the campers seem to ease down around me now. Most likely, that was due to Arwen’s acceptance of me.  
  
After dinner a man introduced himself to me as Amras and showed me to a tent, which was great because I was exhausted from the day’s events. As we walked over I spied the fair-haired man staring at me speaking to the leader. I bet he wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt anyone. Luckily for me, I still wore my boots that had the knife tucked into it. Regardless of Arwen’s kindness, I knew it would be best to stay on guard. When I was with her earlier I felt calm, but without her presence I could feel my body tensing. In my tent I was thankful that my captors/hosts ( I still was not 100 percent sure on them) providing me a couple blankets. The days were warm, but the nights seemed quite chilly.  
  
Outside I could hear some of the men talking around the fire and on of the was singing in a low, hushed voice. Laying down I kept my eyes open as I expanded my senses further to determine if any danger was near. Nothing revealed itself to me, but I still did not feel completely safe. I wondered if Vi had made it back to headquarters. The Cleveland Slayers HQ was headed up by Robin Wood, a son of a Slayer and a participant in the great Sunnydale Battle. About a dozen slayers, including Vi, patrolled the territory and fought back denizens of the Hellmouth that existed there. Fervently I hoped that they would find a way to bring me back.  
  
With that thought, I drifted off to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 5:  
  
I awoke frozen. Crisp air traveled to my lungs as I sucked in my first breathe of morning and my body responded with a shiver. At first I thought Ramon had left the AC on high by accident until I noticed I was laying on something hard and uneven. Only a blanket separated me from the ground as I remembered, much to my dismay, where I was. It had been seven days since I fell through the portal and not much had changed.  
  
That first night I was taken to their camp where they let me bathe in a nearby stream. The cool water felt wonderful as it washed off the dragon blood but I was super pissed off to realize my new friends had exchanged my clothes and boot knife for a dress that was too tight across my chest. Not that I disliked the dress. Oh no, it was made of some luxurious green fabric that swayed around my ankles. What I was angry about was that I was weaponless surrounded by freaks in a foreign place.  
  
In total there were about twenty men and three elves. The men were extremely dirty looking with gruffy beards and fierce eyes. Each carried weapons and all looked like they could use them exceptionally well. At camp I met with the leader and we shared an equal frustration that neither of us understood the other. All that came out of that conversation was our names, and his was Aragorn.  
  
For the past seven days I felt like all eyes were on me, just waiting for me to do something. It irked me to no end that I had no clue about their agenda. good Were they the bad guys or the good guys? They sure as hell looked like the bad guys but did not act like it. I was treated fine and given access to food, a blanket to sleep under the stars with, and was able to walk around the camp; yet no further.  
  
Quite intriguing was the third elf I saw. To my surprise, I was not the only female here. Her skin was like porcelain that shone in the night and her hair the same shade as the other elves, but slightly shorter than theirs. Kind sparkling eyes returned my stares and she moved lithely through the camp. Often she would be with Aragorn or the other elves. One night there seemed to be an argument between her and the other elves. In raised voices they both gestured to me. I had no idea what they were saying, but it seemed like she wanted to talk to and the others were disagreeing with her.  
  
I guess I could not blame them. Would you believe a sword-wielding disheveled character that was strong enough to kill a dragon and fell through a portal? Pausing on that thought, I remembered that I was nowhere as disheveled as these Rasputin type characters. My curiosity was driving me insane as I pondered what they had in store for me and my eyes scanned the area looking for any friendly portals. After my disappearance, I am sure that Vi contacted Willow and they had to be working something out. My heart hoped that they would find a way to bring me back from the absolute worst camping experience of my life.  
  
Suddenly my spidey senses kicked into high gear. Something was coming. My eyes darted around the camp and I saw some of the men were watching something to the East. Standing up, a galloping horse bearing a cloaked figure was heading our way. Muscles tensing, adrenaline began entering my bloodstream as I wondered if we had a friend or foe approaching.  
  
A large hand squeezed my shoulder in a reassuring manner. Looking up I saw one of the other men smiling down at me. This man I had named Alex because he reminded me so much of my friend Xander that assisted with my foray into the underworld of slaying. His coffee-brown eyes were always sparkling with humor and kindness came off him in waves. Often he was the one to bring me my supplies and seemed to be assigned as my guard. Raven-black hair hung down to his shoulders and a thick beard covered his face. At about 6'5, he was my preferred height with a broad chest and arms thick with muscle. Often I thought to myself that he seemed attractive but it was hard to tell with all that hair covering him.  
  
Taking a cue from Alex I decided the new visitor was not a threat and sat down next to some flowers


End file.
